The toothpaste story

Gather 'round, chillen's. This is the story of saving money with toothpaste -or- how weird I can get!

My lovely hubby, impulsive soul that he is, squeezes the tube from the middle of the tube. Now, y'all, I am a bottom of the tube squeezer. And never the twain shall meet. Nearly every morning would see me smoothing out the tube, and then carefully squeezing the tube from the bottom, only to see it the next morning, mangled in the middle again. Ah-HEM!!! Really?!

Now, at this point, I have a few choices. Yell at hubby (and really, what would this solve? Not much of anything.), get a divorce (which saves no one money! REALLY!), or get one of those fun rolling things that squeezes the tube of toothpaste up. Hmmm....thinking of going with option number three. (Decided to skip option four---killing him, altogether, because I have minor children, and it's hard to parent from jail. Just saying! Plus, it's a bit extreme for something so minor as squeezing the tube of toothpaste from the middle.)

I go to the store and look up and down the aisles for this fabulous invention. I KNOW they sell the blasted things, I've bought them in the past. (Since I have bought them in the past, where did they go? Just wondering.....) Any-hoo. Can't find them anywhere. I ask an employee where they are now hiding them. She looks with me and we can't find them. Then she says "why don't you just use a binder clip? That's what I use." Ah-ha! I have a bunch of those, and it doesn't cost me anything at all. Way to save money number two.

Come on home, snag a binder clip and smooth that tube out, roll up the tube end, and clip on the clip. Then what happens? Well.....the pressure squirts the toothpaste out the top! Of course it does. I wipe it off really quick and snap the lid down. Now I have a fingerful of toothpaste. Don't want to waste the toothpaste...so what do I do with it?

Solution? Time to clean up my silver bracelets. I wear three silver bracelets all the time, and they get dirty. I take the bracelets off, rub the toothpaste on them, work it around, rinse them off really well, and dry them off. Wah-lah! Pretty, shiny bracelets. Way to save money number three.

And it proves that I am completely weird. But in a good way.